perldiver

The following is an excerpt from here: http://tinyurl.com/afum8 I had to post it because, every time I read it, I keep laughing until my eyes water.


Carl Jacobs wrote:

So I'm waiting around after hours here at BFC[0], because we've got a
bad 4mm DAT drive attached to the file server in our lab, and the daily
and weekly backups are therefore suspect. Also the disk drives are
making that sound[1] which says, "I'm a happy drive. I'm a cheerful
drive. I'm smiling at you because I'm grinding my spindles into
microscopic dust and there's not a single thing you can do about it.
I'm going to fail. I'm going to do it soon. Or later. I'm not
telling. Probably soon, because I've been chatting with the DAT drive
two hops up the SCSI chain, and he tells me that he's been ill, so if I
fail *now*, you'll have no recent backups. That's why I'm happy. I'm
in control. I want a goat. And candles. Black ones. Pray, human.
Pray that I'm in a good mood. PRAY, DAMMIT, ON YOUR KNEES, YOU
LIMACEOUS BIT OF MEATWARE!"[2]


[0] Big Company
[1] Not unlike the locusts participating in a plague o'er the land.
[2] I find that anthropomorphism really doesn't help me deal with
hardware all that much, because it lends a certain attitude of
disdain to what would otherwise be a mere malfunction.